Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Quick, to the slutcave!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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