U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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