I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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