Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize