Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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