he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
