I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
