My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize