Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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