ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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