maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
