By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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