belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
