bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
