Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Randomize
