420 ftw
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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