Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize