I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize