I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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