I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
