so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
