thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize