I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
