1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
