i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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