I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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