I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she smelled like a LAN party
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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