I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
