Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize