Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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