I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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