clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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