Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
