She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
