I wish I could punch you in the face.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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