Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
