...so i touched it.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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