i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize