Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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