Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
