i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
