i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
