Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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