i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
