Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
