Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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