Pants 0. Shit 1.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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