Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
