hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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