soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
