I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
