he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
