Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Randomize
