babies were throwing up all over the place
and she was petting her beer can
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
