dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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