So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
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