Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
