Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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