In the future we'll all be gay
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
