Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
barbara walters just said penis...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
